I am a game geek

I finished off Hitman, Contracts last week so I picked up another game. I know I shouldn't have I've got other things to spend my money on, but jeez when you are in my boat where you frequently find yourself under a lot of stress sometimes the only escape is into the pixellated world. Yes here reality just fades away & you can clear your mind somewhat or look at things perhaps in an abstract perception. Anyhow I am a sucker for slick looking box art cuz I am an artist & SiN, episodes had some damn slick box art. Then I installed it, what a hassle if I could have afforded too I would have thrown my laptop on the ground & stomped on it, anyhow after several hours I got the game working & the eye candy is amazing as well as the physics to a certain extend, my laptop isn't as beefy as my tower so it lags on occasion. Anyhow I went & downloaded the fansite kit like any geek does & looked at all the concept art, renders, logos, etc. I still wish I had my old site cuz I'd throw up a little page for it but anyhow here is a pic of one of the main charecters, she is your sidekick more or less, I have only played the game a couple of hours. The artwork here is spectaculair I must say.

What Agent 47 Might Write If He Were A Poet

I have just picked up one of my favourite games from a franchise. Yes Hitman: Contracts rocks. I played the 1st game but evetually gave up cuz the controls were wonky & the cutscenes always cut in on my action. The 2nd was freaking awesome I played that one with a fury, yes I know that sounds funny & is meant to be. Anyhow here I am in the 3rd installment, there is a 4th one out or coming out soon. Anyhow I got to think how just how much fun I have had creating pixellated mayhem & then thought hey, why not try to write a poem & pretend Iwas Agent 47. Yes the pyschological profile of a game charecter if he were a poet, ha, ha, kinda' funny. Then again after all the headspaces I have climbed into over these past few years this is like a vacation. Anyhow here it is.
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Flowers For The Fallen

It's spring time again
The winter was bitter
Now life begins once more
The memories from yesterday
Have all but faded
Yet for some unknown reason
When I look at flowers
I think of all the people I've killed
& find beauty in the destruction
Yes it was all so systematic
Done with all the finesse of a dancer
I know what you are thinking
It all looks so easy
But it takes years of practice to become this deadly
One by one I take them down
Sometimes others get in the way
Can't leave no evidence so they must go as well
I like to try to keep it to one shot one kill
But sometimes when they are shooting at you from a throng
You mow them all down
The sounds of gunfire, the smell of gunpowder, the flashes from muzzles
The screams, shouts, & gurgles of the dying
The bodies hitting the ground, the casings bouncing & rolling around
It all begins to sound like a symphony
Time slows down
I read my opponents movements
Gotta' stay one step ahead
Then when all is said & done
I go back home, to the hotel I am staying at or whatever
Take a nice hot shower
A bath if there is one
Try to unwind & think about something else
It is here where I begin to think of flowers
Chyrsanthenums, roses, begonia, pansies, & hundreds of others
So there you have it
The reason I sometime look neither here nor there
When clutching a flower
It takes me away from all the madness
But serves as a subltle reminder

Here We Go Again

Yes, once again this country stuns me. As I have posted in many places before the gun in the pic is a bb gun that fires plastic bbs. I have heard whispers the Canadian Forces were looking for me again. Oh jeez will they never give up their sillyness. Anyhow for all those who think I am training for the Canadian Forces or have been programmed by them or am a member of JTF2 give it a rest, you are only proving how pathetic this country is & how you long for me to be some kinda' iconic figure for the CF, get a life. Like I have stated numerous times if you ever see me in a CF uniform chances are someone has installed a cranial screwtop on my head & scooped out my brains with an ice cream scoop. Besides why would I join an army that can't find me. I am obviously way smarter than all their best trackers combined ( as was proven a few months ago when the combined might of the R.C.M.P., C.S.I.S., & C.F. couldn't find me in Canada after they had declared me a terrorist & I fled to the U.S., cuz they know I am not a terrorist ). I am not even trying to hide. Hell lots of folks in cowtown know where I am. If they put their brains together they might be able to track my cell since I still carry it around & use it as an expensive time piece. People from the U.S. know whre I am. Folks from other countries probably know where I am. Anyhow enough of that. It gets so tiring after awhile.

I have been busy cooking some new beats, I have lots of catchy stuff. A few days ago I made a new song about an old friend of mine who discovered cocaine & heroine, & how she fell from grace & now sells her body on the street to feed her addiction. She was a sweet girl, I have no idea where she is now I called her folks a few months ago & they told me what had happened. Apparently she is now somewhere out on the west coast. What a tragedy, she was a damn hot erotic poet. She wrote some of the steamiest poetry to ever grace my ears.

Art is War, War is Art

This is an example of a sig. This sig is way to big for most forums. Also you usually have to host your own sig, on your own site, or a site that will let you do so. On my old site I had 2 sig galleries & they featured all the sigs I made over the years for various forums I posted in.
Anyhow sigs usually feature some pic, some text, or whatever usually reflecting something of the person they were designed for or the forum or whatever they were designed for. This is a pretty basic one. It just has a picture & some text. A lot of people use flash & other things. I have not gone that route yet, since I don't have that kinda' software. Anyhow this post was gonna' be about something else but it ended up as this. I am tired I thik I'm gonna' crash.

Hello Uncle Sam

I see the US Army Reserve has fallen short of it's goal again. Heck I'd sign up in a flash if I wasn't in the boat I was in. Of course in saying that Canda will do it's darndest to make sure I never join the US Army. They sabotaged my last efffort. They even recruited my mom & many others who I thought were my friends to help. So now instead of being already done a whack of training & more than likely heading off to Iraq, or Afghanistan, I am stuck in cowtown, & am bankrupt. Surrounded by American haters. Oh well. Maybe when I get out of this mess I will get my poop in a group & head back down there, but this time tell no one from Canada where & when I am going. As well instead of going to train in the mointains maybe I'll just rent some little trailer in te desert & train there seeings as how both Iraq & Afghanistan in certain parts are like desert. Also I like cacti, coyotes, & all the desert critters, & other things. I think I still have what it takes to be a scout, some military intel guy, or whatever. Heck I'd even sit behind a desk if I had too. Anyhow I have babbled on long enough. Just got back to the place I am urban camping at need to take a shower.
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Anyways I went to see Mission Impossible 3 & one of Ethan's bosses says "I'd bleed on the stripes of the American flag if it'd help keep them red." I too would. I figure with someone like myself out there just maybe I'd be on my toes a little more than someone younger & could help keep my squadmates a little more safe. It kinda' strikes me as sad when I see these younger guys with familys die, when if it were someone like me who has no one & mothing it wouldn't matter too much. Anyhow if you are familliar with my old site you are familliar with my views & I don't need to explain them.

Back When I Used To Cut The Rug

Yes, it's been quite awhile since I've set foot in a dance studio to learn anything. On a few occasions I've been in some shows, I've tried my hand at chorepgraphy & a couple of times have been forced to teach. I am not a teacher so I found it rather ridiculous. First was for some grade school kids. I worked out an easy funky combo for them set to a Macy Gray tune & I was surprisd at how quick the little buggers caught on & actaully at how good I was at captivating their attention. I took a class of 30 kids & in a little over an hour had them do an entire song's worth of dancing. For those who are unfamilliar with dance let's just say that is rather good. On another occassion I was at the Banff Centre & stuck in some god awful crazy native piece & the director was rather stunned to say the least & in no way qualified to be in charge of as good of a cast as she had assembled. Anyhow one by one we got fired. THe main reason for me being toasted was she wanted me to teach another actor to tap dance in under a week. I said lady I am just a begginer at tap, I may have had some Irish, Flamenco, & other training but I am not qualified to do it, & what you are asking is pretty much impossible. She just said well I am not qualified to do this & that but I do it. So off I went after a long day of rehersal to our studio & began to teach this guy some basic tap stuff. I first started out with some warm up exercises, ie stretches you usually do anyway to avoid fatigue & cramping up & that sort of thing. They were really super easy & I told him not to overexert himself in anyway & if anything feels funny it could be a sign you are going too far. Anyhow after getting loosened up we did some basic tap stuff, shuffles, ball changes, riffles, scuffs, grapevine, etc.. Then he said the director told him I had other dance training & wanted to explore some more so we did some travelling across the floor, jazz walks, damn I forget the name of that sideways thing but it looks neat, & other stuff which at the time I could do quite well. Also I was kinda' freaked out cuz right next door over in the next studio were a bunch of my teachers from DJD & the last thing I wanted to do was look like an idiot & teach someone the wrong thing. Every single dance class & teacher played through my mind those nights. I kept checking in the mirror to make sure I was doing the right thing & so was dude. During the strecthces I walked around him made sure all the angles were right, feet were in the right position, pelvis, hips, arms, hands. Then I got into explaining about how you gotta go down to go up & up to go down, the need for core strength, & a zillion other things. On & on I played all the videos of every class I could remember & every teachers techniques. Anyhow it ended up being our exploration of tap, jazz, ballet, & native dance all mixed into one hodge podge of a thing. During the native stuff our roles were reversed since Iwas unfamilliar with that aspect of my heritage. At the end of our classes, practices, exploration or whatever I suggest just a light stretch since that is how most classes ended where I was taught & just seemed natural since I did notice I had become somewhat stiff. I told my compadre he should as well, but when it came time to do the stretch at the end he bailed & I said dude that's probably not a good idea since we were more or less putting in over 12 hours a day to this show with all of our acting & other stuff. Add to that it was winter & we were in the mountains. Anyhow I told the director this & I told her that I dude he should stop any time he felt tired or whatever. I could go on & on for days. Anyhow he ended up getting cramps or something like that. Sometimes before I got there in the evening after supper, a cigarette, & whatever he'd go there earlier. I let him use my tap shoes, & he'd be there doing some further exploration on his own of what we covered although at a somewhat erratic pace. With the director being hte quack she was anyhow I eventually got fired, I was wondering when my time might come & it did. Since dude wasn't able to tap dance, & perform miracles at the end of the week I was to blame. I said hey I am not a dance teacher & to get really good it takes years not days. Anyhow I was dismissed the next day. There were a dozen riduclous reasons she set down on a piece of paper. I think my favourite one was "Jeff does not grab the feather when he wants to talk in the circle." "Due to Jeff's extremely punishing workouts dude has been injured, Jeff kept on pushing & pushing putting another person in mortal danger" & there was "Jeff does not appreciate our native teachings". Give me a break I came to do a show, I came to act, I came to dance. I thought the company had all the proper folks in place. I did not sign on to teach, I did not sign on to hold feathers when I talk, etc.. I am an actor, a somewhat okay dancer to a certain degree. For what she described & what I was hired for I knew I could do the job. Having been in numerous productions before in theatre, tv, film, stilt walking, etc., I knew the correct etiquette & protocol for the gig. Anyhow when I got back to Cowtown I had a friend go "You worker for her, she fires everyone usually, it's a wonder how she gets any money at all." Needless to say after that little incident anything native is scratched off my list unless I myself am directing it, producing it or whatever. Even then it wouldn't be native cuz I am not native. I am your average eccentric, half breed.

Anyhow this post was supposed to be how when I saw one of my former teachers the other night at a show I went to watch how she & I were quite happy to see each other even though it was briefly & we didn't talk. Back when I first wanted to learn how to dance I went to DJD & it was different then compared to now & I just found my little niche as the curious student who had other skills the dancers did not posses so I guess that's what caught their attention. Not too mention I was & still am somewhat of a loveable loon. Those girls & lads accepted me for what I was & the company was like some kinda' familly & I was the stray cat who came to the door for some milk quite often. Actually in my eyes they were like abunch of cats as well. Also being a little rough around the edges was something that fascinated them as well. Who knows for sure. Anyhow as time went one I learned more & studied & studied, & more or less had the run of the place when I fancied it. They were quite inspirational, I don't know if I inspired them, but it was wierd how we all grew fond of one another. Anyhow the lads have wandered on since then, new ones have taken their place, the girls are here in town I think, also new ones have come & left the fold. I engratiated myself upon them as a curiousity. Dance is just so wierd. I think just being the anomally I was also helped. All in all it's just to long & detailed to tell exactly. In brief though there is more than the student/ teacher thing. Sometimes the roles were reversed. Other times just firneds, follow artists, or whatever. I loved to watch them grow & I think they got a kick out of watching me as well. U-m-m this might be a strecth but sometimes I think they saw me as their spiritual guru. Little did they know that they too were feeding me some soul. Anyways when I do see one of them it puts a little spring in my step, my heart beats just a wee bit faster, & that sort of thing. I did some pretty kooky stuff for them over the years, but it was all fun in some kinda' way.

It's Been A long Haul

I sit here after taking a shower. Listening to the music I have made on this laptop since October of last year. The first song I created on this laptop was called "Another Song For Laura" since I had written a few of them. It's just me rambling on, about this girl I met, then had a couple of little adventures with. I guess her being so adventurous was what I found most attractive. Also she was a super athelete. She literally ran circles around me on the beach.

Now playing is Arlington. Anyone who was familliar with my site knew the story behind this one. I think I will go back to it & fill it in more & maybe throw some words in there. For those of you who have no clue, I guess you will just remain in the dark. On the dvd I might be coming out with I'll include the videos, a whack of photos, all the music since then. The rough cuts, then the finished pieces. It's kind interesting how a bit of music evolves. Of course sometimes you hit the nail right on the head & well that's it. The newest pieces are mixed in with the older ones. I can't wait until it's finished & then start working on some kinda' song order. I am pleasantly surprised at what I have cooked up. Basically all the stuff I grew up liking is there blended together in bits & pieces & brought kinda' sorta' up to date & yet is original cuz like I said before I never really whipped out the old how to build a song book, took lessons, or learned any artists songs. Okay I lied there I can play Yankee Doodle, Ode To Joy, & Walk Of The Trolls. As for artists I like there are none. I can't read music, & tab drives me up the wall. Plus I'm kinda' impatient & lazy.

Mr. Mo & Ms. Leicha is on now. I tried to capture the spirit of my frinds' two cats when the are acting like loons & are horsing around. I think the inspiration stems from flight of the bumblebee. This though is vastly different. Also for some odd reason I was trying to imagine them if they were dancing like humans on 2 feet. This stems from the day when I accidently broke one of the funky coffee cups & when pressed for an explanation I said Mr. Mo did it when he was showing me that even though he was a cat he could dance, or something like that.

It's mainly hip hop but has strong undercurrent of everything. Some of them are really catchy & the phrases are starting to be etched in my brain. That usually doesn't happen with the music I make. H-m-m-m-m-m well you know what I mean, actually I guess you might not if you aren't a musician. All those dance lesson I took too have found there way in here. Your parents had their jazz, maybe this is mine. Some of it is right out too lunch, but sprinkled with some delicious passages. Somof it is downright mean, some of it flighty, some of it eerie, etc.. Also you can feel a lot of the stuff I've been though, or places I've been too if that makes any sense. This is a sonic safari into the depths of my pysche.

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Okay, after listening to all the tracks that currently are planned, minus the ones I have yet to create, there is roughly 53 minutes of music for 23 or 24, pieces of music I have created. & here I thought I was gonna' have a rough time of coming up with something 45 minutes long. Yes this indeed will be an interesting beast to here once it is fully assembled. I haven't been this giddy about art/music/poetry/whatever in a long time.