Video Game Vetran

Just before I begin to write this I will state that this is purely about video games as implied in the title just so I don't confuse anybody (mainly Calgarians). Also it is fiction & I am also generating an idea I'll be using for a poem/song I will be working on for my new cd of beats I have cooked up on my laptop from this road trip that has gone awry.
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They always say just one more mission
It will be simple
You'll be in & out of there in no time
Yeah right, when has that ever been the case
One thing leads to another
Then the next thing you know
I'm back in the trenches
Fighting someone else's war
Across several planets, solar systems, galaxies
realities, or times
How many places have I been
How many people have I met
How many people have I killed
Sometimes I'm just an ordinary man
Other times I am a genetically modified soldier
Then there's the whole code of silence thing
You talk too much
You die
Simple as that
Well not really
But you know what I mean
I think I'll take a break for awhile
Go on vacation
Clear my mind
Forget about it all
Of course
Soooner or later
Someone will come calling
& then it will be
"Just one more mission
You'll be in & out of there in no time"

Black Ops..... Actually Make That Blah Oops

Yes the title is in reference to my other blog. Get this folks, people in Calgary are so dumb they think blogs are a covert form of communication & the CPS dude who left a comment was more or less implying that the Clagary Police Service made Word Press, & I guess Blogger as well cuz it is another "Covert Form Of Communication". Oh yes Cowtown is full of idiots. Anyhow I will say this picture was taken with my crappy webcam, but I decided to turn the saturation up so it looks like it's fromNVGs (Night Vision Goggles).

Anyhow kooks will be kooks I guess. I am seriously missing all my toys I have had to pawn off to stay alive. Even better yet will be explaining to woever I file bankruptcy with why I had to pawn them off. Here is the reason why I had to pawn off my video camera & digital camera, actually I don't have to explain if you have read previous posts. Those who haven't I will state why. After discovering Canada had declared me a terrorist I fled to the US cuz I knew that they knew I wasn't a terrorist. I took an 800 mile bus ride. Caught a ride on local WInnipeg Transit, then thubed it down a way then walked to the border. It was during the walking part in -20c with runners where I got frostbite one day. Upon getting to the border I was refussed asylum but the US told Canada I wasn't a terrorist so Canada quit that schtick really quick. I spent the night in a lobby of a bank then walked back to the town where I began my trek the previous day. I got more frostbite, my feet were bleeding, & I was tempted to just go to sleep permanently. Anyhow I made it back to Winnipeg after some dude gave me a ride finally. I had to crash in homeless shelters for a few days. I figured my feet would heal & I'd head to Montreal. It didn't happen my feet got worse I went to the hospital they gave me antibiotics, A whole lot of wierdness went on while their. The usual strange whispers. Then upon realizing I couldn't stay at the homeless places any longer cuz you had to leave during the day I pawned off my video camera, then digital camera another day so I could have enough cash to go stay at the Internation Hostel & relax all day indoors & eat something somewhat healthy, Anyhow I ended up stayinmg in Winnipeg for longer than expected.

Anyhow I am now in Cowtown working on some music, art, etc.. I will get my papers in order soon then go declare bankruptcy. It sucks but hey life is usually never what you expect it to turn out sometimes. Anyhow I just thought I'd stick up a new pic. I can't wait to get a real camera again. That of course will be awhile.

A Poem About Who Knows What

When did you finally let go?
I can't remember when I did

So many miles
So many memories
So many dreams shattered
So many forgotten feelings

I nearly died
Not once
Not twice
But too many times

The lines on my face
Don't disappear as quickly
I try to stay happy
But this is not my country anymore
I like the one to the south better
Here it's just misery, boredom, suffocation, & what have you

These people aren't free
But nowadays who is?

Things go in cycles
Things go in circles?
I guess it depends on how you think
Or if you think at all

You made me a spook
Who & what do you know me as?
Do you even know me?
A lot think they do?

The things that throws me off when out there is
How things in the flats look so near
When in truth
They are miles away

Why didn't I just go to sleep?
Surely that was why they all left me out in the cold

On & on it goes
One foot in front of another

Grow Some Teeth

Yes I look rather deranged & scary. That is me. I need to see a dentist as well. I can't think of anything to say. I have just drank 2 large cups of coffee & need to take a piss. I can smell someone's footcheeze or is it mine. Who knows. Anyhow that is all.

No Exit

Well if I was to make a play or movie out of my recent escapades of the last 9 months, I'd call it " No Exit" or " Beyond The Point Of No Return". Anyhow I am kinda' liking it here in the Peg. Why, becasue I have not done everything here 2x or more. In Calgary I did almost everything there was too do atleast twice. I can only see myself returning if some theatre or dance company makes me some kinda' pitch that sounds interesting. If not I guess I'll hunker down here & then figure out some kinda' game plan. Anyhow I was gonna' bitch about something but I've forgotten what. Oh yeah. Even though I am not at a point where I could afford 2 tier health if it was ever offered here I am all for the privitization or other options that might soon be offered here in Canada. I conducted my own little investigation into why our health system is as messed up as it is & it's simple everyone & their dog runs to the ER when they have a scrath or bruise. That inturn overloads them & that fallout rippples all across the board. What does that mean more money thrown at the beast. If Canada ever wants to get ahead they might want to check into other options for health care. Just think of what the government could do with all that freed up cash. There are many things. I won't both to rattle them off. As for government employees in Winnipeg I wandered around to 7 different locations today in the downtown core & none of them knew where the Canadian Forces recruiting centre was. If you want to run an effective government it might help having employees knowing where other things or departmnets are. Anyhow I found it eventually. I am gonna' go see if I can get an acting gig for the upcoming Operation Bison or something like that that will be held here in WInnipeg later on this month. I want to be an insurgent. Those who know me or of you've read mt blog, or seen my old website would know that I could quite easily fill those boots & maybe cause them to queston their abilities to soldier in an urban environment. Of course I have to jump through some hopes first & get the gig, but if I did I think it would be beneficially to them since I am not your everyday Joe Canuck. Also it looks good on the old acting resume. I haven't been able to pursue the arts as much as I'd like due to all the moving about etc, but I have managed to do some photography, writing, etc.. Anyhow I gotta' roll.

Sunday Boring Sunday

Well It's Sunday my world s falling apart still, but on the other hand I am finally making a little bit of headway. I have no idea what lies down the road. I don't really worry about it too much. Life is way too short for that, so I live in the moment. Funny how losing everything has brought me back down to earth. This photo is a reject one but I decided since I don't have a camera anymore I'd start tinkering with the images I had taken & saved. So I guess until I get a new camera or access to more of the photos I have stored on various dvds & cds scattered across Canada & the US I will be recycling my pics. It's kinda fun, like how do you take something disastorous & make it look new & somewhat good & interesting. I am for now only using Microsoft Digital Image Pro cuz it's on my laptop & I am pleasantly surprised at what I can do with it. To make this thing I tinkered around for about 15 minutes. When I was in Thompson I had all te time in the world & I mucked around with some images for a couple of hours. I was gonna' use some of them for wallpaper on my website but that has gone the way of the doodoo as well. I will return sometime this year hopefully but until I get a stable footing it won't happen. I guess that is about all I have to say for now. I was gonna' write a poem or whatever but I want to surf around a bit. I am in some cafe using their wifi & well it ain't like sitting at home where you can do things at your liesure. Damn I miss my daily dose of free porn. Yes I don't think the patrons of this cafe would be into that, although at home I bet a lot of them are porn junkies as well. That & watching those little trailers at quicktime or the deranged mayhem at Consumption Junction. As sick as some of those videos were & how they made me flinch they were interesting & educational in some kinda morbid aspect. Then of course all the other diversions there are. I don't even have a decent game to play. I am a video game junkie as well. I love to spend hours or days on end fragging pixels. Anyhow time to roll.