I Want To Die

I wish someone would just kill me. Yes, that is how much I hate living in this country. So someone please do me a favour & splatter my brains all over the sides of the walls. Preferably at my mom's place just so she can see some sick assed stuff, I think she deserves it. Also it will put to rest all the things I have to complain about since I obviously won't be alive. The amount of pain I am feeling right now is getting to be almost unbearable at times. My teeth are rotting as you can see in the previous post. That hurts, think of cavities now multiply that by 10x atleast. Then there all my wisdom teeth. They are no longer little dinky seedlings. They are big assed mother fuckers. They are causing me a fair amount of pain as well. Also by someone putting me out of my misery I won't have to put up with all the retarded, communist, homo-sexual, terrorist hugging ways of Canada. Not have to be subjugating to all the braiwashed masses. Of coarse if I was living in another country I'd have the will to live, but in Canada I don't. Someone kill me please, do me a favour, or someone get me proper medical treatment but not in Canada. I'd rather kill myself before I let another Canadian doctor or dentist get anywhere near me.

Yes people of the world don't let a Canadaian doctor or denist anywhere near you or a loved one. If you have enemies you might want to send them to a Canadian doctor or dentist.

Oh yeah also when I got my tetanous shot & Hep B shot in the US I immediately started getting even more healthy. I think my liver shrunk. Anyhow upon returning to Canada I wanted to get the rest of my shots so I would be healthy. Every attempt to get them in Canada I was denied. In Kalamazoo I just simply strolled up to the community health clinic & asked & they gladly gave them to me, of course for a fee that was nominal. God bless the USA is all I can say. Canada you can rot & die like my teeth. Or is the Canadian version incompatible with the US version. Maybe Canada just gives out placebos. Anyhow thanks to the nurse who gave me the shots. I have become somewhat healthier, but obviously a tetanous shot & Hep B shot didn't do much for my teeth since they aren't designed for that. Or maybe Canada's version would cause me to become ill or something. Maybe they are just afraid of something. But what? H-m-m-m I am curious.

Okay after thinking about the whole dying thing I'd rather not, I think by living & continuing to defy Comrade Canuck no matter how much physical & mental trauma it puts me through I will soldier onward. Do your worst & I will just yawn, laugh, or make some morbid post. Anyhow before I wandered off onto this, the T3 just kicked in so I am a wee bit lucid right now. That's about the only good thing I have recieved from my mother in awhile. I wonder if she's like some kinda' pill popping junkie, that might explain why she is as stunned as she is. Or have the Jehovah's Witnesses braiwashed her into this state. My mom has their literature lying all over the place. I avoid it like the plague. There's probably some kinda' subliminal messages hidden all over the pace. An example' You are becoming more retarded as you read this" or something like that. Maybe I'll have to go investigtae some more JW's in the near future. Okay now back to what I was getting at. I'll make a deal with any chick or cougar in the US who digs scars & can get me to see a doctor or a dentist. You can stare at my scars or do what ever lewd act you want with them just get my some medical treatment. Yes you can grind you tasty bits all over all of my scars. I have tons of them. They are multilayered in some spots. I think in some areas I have damaged one area as many as 50 times. Yes god bless rapid skin cell regeneration. Anyhow since I am not in pain at the moment I think I am gonna' end this & go get some sleep. Yes I dream one day of having no physical pain. It seems ever since I turned 18 I have been in pain. 17 years of torment. That's a long time. Well I have had a few breaks from time to time but it has been rare. Perhaps I've just become so used to it, a constant low level ache. It would be interesting if there was scuh thing as a pain meter. What level would mine be at. What levels would it have climbed to at the very worst moments of my life. Actually just basically anyone from the US, UK or another country I would gladly paint you like some ultra big mural at your place or where ever in lieu of payment. I could teach a class of people to walk on stilts & some minor acting skils. I could make you a personal album or music just for you & only you to enjoy. If I still had my website up you could go there to see what I was capable of. I could think of a zillion other things. Maybe you'd like to learn the craft of being a Space Cowboy. I could put you through your very own Space Cowboy boot camp. In it would be bits & pieces of art, acting, physical fitness, some choreography, the Space Cowboy philosophy & other funky things. I once used to be a drill instructor for a para-miltary Christian commando group, I think I could atleast get you into a wee bit better shape than you already are. There are endless possibilities, basically I need medical help soon before it's too late, well actually it probably is too late, it's just that my will to live make me kinda' hard to extinguish.