Somedays I Feel Like Jesse James

There are somedays I wonder if the film, tv, video game, & other people follow me around. A lot of movies seem to have some kinda paralell, or feature charecters who look kinda' like me. I have never robbed a train or anything like that, or shot a man, but there are days I feel like Jesse James, or Billy the Kid, & Canadians are all the folks who are after me, or who will betray me. Anyhow I guess it all stems from me not being very Canadian, making my own desicions, embracing American & British values, appreciating freedom & democracy. Some of these things seem kinda' outlaw to Canadian so they have branded me an outlaw. Now all I need is a horse.

Yes Canada I will never be a communist, homo-sexual, terrorist hugger, retard, or any of the other more peculiar things you would like me to be. So, lick my moustache.

Let's stars I look like kinda' sorta' sometimes. Brad Pitt in Jesse James, Liam Nelson as Qui-gon Jin in The Phantom Menace, Antonio Banderas in .... that one where he plays guitar & kicks a lot of ass, Mel Gibson in Lethal Weapon & the Mad Max movies, Sylvester Stallone in the Rambo movies, Colin Farrel in Miami Vice, Samuel Jackson in Snakes On A Plane, & a many others. Okay maybe some of them are a stretch, lol.

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I guess the jig is up I'll tell Canada the truth I am a spy from the UN, the rest of the world has grown concerned about Canada. It has made itself more of a pariah than North Korea & Iran combined. There were rumors that the communists took over & brainwashed everyone into homo-sexual, retarded, communist, terrorist huggers, so I volunteered to enter Canada & find out the truth since no one has emerged from the country in over 20 years. Canada lost contact with the world in 1985. There were even stories about a revolution & they toppled the government & installed a czar. No one has seen any Canadians abroad so I was sent to find out where everyone went. All I have found so far is a few pcs, 26 million cryo units & few thousand communist here. The rest of the folks are asleep in cryo units & the commies are harvesting their organs. So if you are Canadian & you are reading this, this is what has happened to you & the only reason you know this is because I hacked into the main computer & plugged it into the internet. Welcome to 2006 if any of you actually can read, write, or think for yourselves.

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Maybe everyone in the US, UK, & coalition knows about me & could see this (how my life currently is, or has turned out.) & thought they'd warn me or make some more movies inspired by me & other legendary figures. Actually legends are fascinating subjects to tackle in film, or any other media for that matter.

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If they ever make a film about my life maybe they might think about calling it, The Assassination Of Space Cowboy By The Cowardly Canadians